A Reason, A Season, or a Lifetime?

Ecclesiastes 3 English Standard Version (ESV)

A Time for Everything
3 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

2 a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

Clary Lopez' Blog

Which Are you?
A Reason, A Season, or A Lifetime?

fall

People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime.

When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

-When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are. They are there for a reason,you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die, Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you…

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An Awful Poem for the Sad Heart

This always happens
One little thing sets me on edge.
Why? Why do I experience this pain.
Heart wrenching but as if my heart is breaking in two. I feel the pain deep inside.
My soul aches: So much sadness, Too much loneliness.

Can’t anyone see.
I’m crying out in the dark.
Can’t you hear the anguish my faint whisper.
My heavy breathing goes: In, out, in, out, in, out
I try to calm myself down. I can’t go down that road tonight. Not again…
When will this end?
I’m struggling to find the light in the dark.
My soul aches.
I thought I knew what this feeling of lose felt like. Without love. No. I was wrong. I’ve never experienced this deep yearning of my soul for the thing and relationship I cannot attain.
I’m broken. Fix me. Hear me. I can’t hear or feel you. I know your not gone but you’re so far away.
God Help me.
You know the reason for my pain and heart break.

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A collection of Poems at 2AM

2AM
here I am, its 2am
crying…
I miss you, yet i didn’t know you
but i know all about you
 
why?Why? Why?
what could have been 
who knew 
 
 
Jesus KNOWS and one day I will ask him
 
Sleepless Musings
As I lay in this sleepless night, with tears trickling down my face
do the dead have some connection to us, in heaven or hell.
do they know are deepest thoughts about them
is Jesus the mediator of our dialogue of the deepest thoughts we wish a loved one could know. do they know
do you know
I love you 
 
Do you know?
Will there be one just like you for me or 
am I to give into celibacy ?
was it just not meant to be 
did you know who I was 
behind the desk, under the orange hat,
across the solarium.
 
did you know 
 
do you know that I miss you
Do you, do you, I do. I do
 
Will I?
will I find solace?
ever
or 
never to love or be loved by a man
to be afraid to let go of one taken too soon
taken from a world that needed your godly character or influence
when I sit here gratifying myself
You were selfless. I am selfish
you were just like Jesus and I am just like the woman at the well… Thirsty
for more than life’s pleasure
 The Cry
I sit and cry for a love lost 
I sit and remember your precious face, your love for God your love for others. 

 

By Victoria
For a Friend from a far
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The Tiger

Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?

And What shoulder, and what art,
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? and what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

When the stars threw down their spears,
And watered heaven with their tears,
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the lamb make thee?

Tyger! Tyger! burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye 
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry? 

William Blake

 

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All good things must come to an end.

So today ( Sept. 24th) I found out that my all time favorite band is retiring.

BarlowGirl.

My first Christian concert ever.

In high school,  my awesome youth leader took the youth group to Night of Joy 07. It was there,  in that magical Disney park that I heard my first contemporary Christian song by BarlowGirl.  I immediately fell in love with BarlowGirl and Christian music. I also got to see BarlowGirl at Night of Joy in 08. BarlowGirls’ music  has been such an encouragement in my life and especially in my high school years. You see, in high school I began to blossom in my faith.  As I became more active in my youth group, I learned what it really meant to be a  Christian. I learned that I am to live a transformed life. And  because I was going to a large public high school (and of all places in  St. Petersburg, Fl) I became increasingly aware that I needed to know what I believed and I had to live out what I believed.  Also in high school, I struggled with doubt and the BarlowGirl song “Never Alone”  encouraged me so much, “Never Alone” was practically on repeat. The song “ Never Alone” encouraged me to keep the faith no matter what I experienced, what I thought,  or what I was taught in school.

“I waited for you today

But you didn’t show

No no no

I needed You today

So where did You go?

You told me to call

Said You’d be there

And though I haven’t seen You

Are You still there?

I cried out with no reply

And I can’t feel You by my side

So I’ll hold tight to what I know

You’re here and I”m never alone

And though I cannot see You

And I can’t explain why

Such a deep, deep reassurance

You’ve placed in my life

We cannot separate

‘Cause You’re part of me

And though You’re invisible

I’ll trust the unseen

I cried out with no reply

And I can’t feel You by my side

So I’ll hold tight to what I know

You’re here and I”m never alone”

God is still there, even when I cant hear Him. He will never leave me nor forsake me.

Now on  the subject of modesty BarlowGirl influenced my strong stance on purity with their song Average Girl

“So what I’m not your average girl

I don’t meet the standards of this world

Chasing after boys is not my thing

See I’m waiting for a wedding ring

No more dating

I’m just waiting

Like sleeping beauty

My prince will come for me

No more dating I’m just waiting

‘Cause God is writing my love story”

I watched a YouTube video about their stance on purity and it honestly made sense. Why bother having your heart broken by some guy that is not even going to be your husband. I don’t want to bring any emotional baggage into my marriage. Instead, I want to just be friends with guys. Just being friends allows me to really get to know a guy because that whole fake dating thing won’t happen. What I mean is that  I  will not try to be the person that I think that a particular guy will like. I just have to be me and seek hard after God and He will be faithful to bring that person into my life that He wants me to marry or call me to a life singleness. I just want to give my single years to God and just trust Him because he is in control and knows my future.

There are so many other songs by BarlowGirl that I just love. Like Open Heavens, Tears Fall, Enough, Psalm 73, Let Go, Come Alive, Hello Sunshine, Running Out of Time, and like every song on the album “How Can We Be Silent”.  I love their lyrics and musicianship. Lauren Barlow’s’ tone quality is just amazing. I just love her voice.  I also love the harmony that the girls are so skilled at. My favorite BarlowGirl song behind Never Alone in “Million Voices” . I just love the rock anthem of living out Romans 12:1-2. “Million Voices” made aware of my life verse Romans12:1-2: “ Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will”.

Another verse that I love because of BarlowGirl is 1 Peter 2:9 “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”

I own almost every T-shirt that is in their online store. I also own a BG keychain, jacket,  necklace, wrist band, signed drum head, drum sticks, and a signed poster.

In High school, I  once spent my entire Christmas break watching all of the BarlowGirl podcasts on Youtube. When finished watching all of the podcasts I watched all the videos I could with BarlowGirl in them on YouTube. The podcasts were so funny and brought so much laughter to my life. Also, from watching their podcasts: I saw Lauren playing with her iPhone and talking about all the cool apps she had on it. And I was like “that’s cool. I want an iPhone”… so I got an iPod touch and my love for Apple products was rekindled (my first computer in kindergarden was a Mac). I now own an iPad, iPhone, and Macbook Pro. BarlowGirl influenced my love for Christian rock music. The Barlow’s  are my style icons. I guess you could say I am a huge and crazy fan. I want to be just like them. I have been trying to get that Lauren Barlow hair style for years. I seriously have so many pics of BarlowGirl on my computer in search for the perfect pic to show my hair stylist. I wear my BarlowGirl shirts all the time. Their edgy rocker style is so my style. And the fact that Lauren Barlow is a vegetarian is an encouragement to me and my recent vegan diet (for my health). BarlowGirl is the reason I got a twitter account.  They have many times been my computer desktop picture(at the moment they are one of my desktop pics;)  BarlowGirl has also inspired me to learn to play the piano, guitar, and drums. Most importantly, They have been a spiritual encouragement to me. I aspire to be a Proverbs 31 woman like they are. I have read their book and blogs and they are my famous spiritual mentors. To me, BarlowGirl, is a title that any girl can claim. I am a girl who seeks after God and in pursuit of purity and living out a transformed life. Jesus Christ is my Lord and Saviour . I am a Proverbs 31 woman. I am a BarlowGirl. Seriously,  I am who I am because of the Barlow’s  godly influence on my life. Amazing how God used their life to influence me and this gets me thinking about the effect I am having on my a spheres of influence.

In conclusion, I respect the reason that they are retiring. They feel that God is moving them in a different direction and season in life. Their action and attitude is an example for me to seek God’s will and if he is calling me to do something different I need to drop what I’m doing and follow Him.  Though as sad as I am that I’m never again get to experience that wonderful anticipation for a new BarlowGirl album and the joy going an official BG concert . I am reminded that I can rest assured that God is in control. I need to seek Him in all aspects of my life -for my life steps and direction. “ Hope Will Lead Us On”

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Friends in Life and Death

So, I am new to this blog thing. This is something that has been in the back of my mind for a while. I love reading other people’s blogs but I am afraid of start my own. I am used to just journaling and keeping my thoughts to myself. However, in light of certain events, I have decided to publicly start a blog.

So… I have decided to include in my first blog post the following text message conversation that took place today. In context it is concerns the death of a friend and former neighbor that I used to hang out with when I was in middle school.

Mom:

Marisa looked this up for me and sent it to me, thought u two would like to see it…. It makes me sad and cry… He was so kind to me always, God Bless him hope he was saved!

My Brother Christopher: Very sad.

Mom: Yes it is, I Love you so much Christopher, and Victoria, I just want you to know that, when someone is taken from us we reflect on our life and if we r living each day as our last!!!  Letting those that we care for know it and treat them as we would want to be treated, and most importantly living as God would have us too, and be at peace knowing we r saved for our selves and our loved ones, so we will be together in heaven when our time has come up here on earth!

R. I. P. little Josh u touched many lives!!!

Me: Yes mom that is so true. The death of Nolan Price and then that of Josh Dixon has made me see the urgency of the gospel. So many people that I come in contact with need Jesus. In my whole life, how many of the people that I have come in contact with did I tell about Christ and what he did on the cross for us?   I also feel compelled to look at my life. Am I living as if “all I have is Christ” as the song we sang in chapel today goes? Things immediately come in to perspective on what is important and what is not. I mean is showing Christ, telling others about Him and what he did on the cross, caring and loving others my priority or is it my own selfish ambitions, thoughts, and materialism my priority. Who is controlling my life…God or the world? Most importantly my relationship with God is evaluated. Especially as I deal with the goodness of God. He can be trusted. My finite mind cannot comprehend the reason that some people leave us so soon. I too need to live each as it were my last for ” life is but a fleeting breath”. I need to be prepared for death.  What kind of legacy will I leave? What will others say about me? Am I truly longing for the day I see my God in heaven or am I more concerned with this earthly life? Honestly most of the time I’m so earthly focused. The searing pain of loss is just evidence of the curse and how we were meant to live eternally but… we sinned. Thank God he sent Jesus to die for the penalty of my sins. I need to live this regenerated life out and make sure that I am regenerated and repent daily because I am a sinner saved by grace. Daily I need to ask forgiveness and spend time in God’s word in prayer. My relationship with Christ needs to be real and lived out to give Him all the glory.

Last Thoughts: You never know how much time you have with someone. Cherish

Every moment like it was the last.

Also, Be careful on motorcycles (especially in the Tampa Bay area). Nolan Price (CCC Student) and Joshua Dixon both died from injures sustained from two different motorcycle accidents exactly a month apart. if you drive “look twice because it can save a life”.

God Bless

Ciao

Tori

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Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress.com! This is my blog. It will pretty much consist of the random musings of a college senior. The name of the blog practically states its purpose: the introspections of an introvert. Enjoy!!!

 

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